July 27, 2011

broken & exposed love.

i was


s t r e t c h e d.





I spent this past weekend on the beautiful beaches of Limón & Puerto Viejo. What was supposed to be a normal, everyday beach trip turned into me being completely broken & wrecked before my God.

I will never be able to fully put into words all that God spoke to me and how broken I truly became.

For 3 days I "vacationed" amongst those considered

"unloveable" & "untouchable".

For 3 days I was completely uncomfortable, but in such a beautiful way.

For 3 days I experienced love.

Love from a f a rthrough what I saw around me.

& through each my God spoke.

I saw houses.














houses considered homes.

I saw people.












people who are beautiful.

I saw the ocean.







ocean imitating love.

For 3 days I was neighbors with those considered

"unloveable" & "untouchable"

I was neighbors to houses that most would consider as shacks.

I was neighbors with love.

love at its finest.

My neighbors for those 3 days don't see dirt & wood.

or bare-feet & tattered clothing.

They see family.






But more than any of that-

they love.


in Costa Rica.

love is understood in such a pure way.

in such an unhindered way.

everyone loves with their entire heart.

not just a piece.

they fully understand how special love is.

love isn't taken for granted.

it's thoroughly appreciated.

it's fully given.

even to a complete stranger.

a stranger, just like me.

I have been called to love. I have been called to step out of [my] ways & completely step into {His}regardless of what that may mean. I long to be so in tune with the very heartbeat of my God that I love in a way that allows my spirit to rise above my flesh. I long to love even if it means sleeping on a dirt covered street. living amongst the broken & poor. eating only grain. wearing tattered bits of clothing. being bare-foot. His love is greater than any of that. I long & yearn to love as my God loves. Allowing nothing to stand in my way from loving as He does. Just as the ocean is raw & exposed to anyone & everything I long to love with a love so raw & exposed. I long to love freely. Allowing myself to genuinely love anyone and everyone just as my God does. I long to love holding back nothing.

I long to love like the "unloveables" & "untouchables" love.

like my God loves.

I truly experienced love at its finest & not through a single word, but through what I saw. I saw the people around me love in a way that broke me. In a way that causes them to look past old wooden & dirt houses & see nothing but a home full of love. In a way that causes them to look past what they do not have & see what they can give to those around them.

through broken & tattered houses.

dirty & impoverished people.

a raw & open ocean.

my God spoke

& i became broken.

so broken that I became fully exposed before my God.

so exposed that I can't help but want to love like my God loves.

i long to love until my very last breath.

{loving until i no longer can.}

July 11, 2011

a longing. a yearning. to be like HIM.

unexplainable JOY!

the joy of the Lord!

it's what fills me.

it truly is UNexplainable

"Así todo mi ser exclamará... " [Salmo 35:10]

"With every bone in my body I will praise Him..." [Psalm 35:10]

my soul daily longs to praise my God.

the joy that resides within me canNOT be contained.

i must shout.

i must proclaim.

i must declare.

i must rejoice.

i must praise.

I will NOT keep silent.

I will praise my God

& with every ounce of my heart!

In His presence is where i long to be!

I long to be completely naked & exposed before my God

allowing Him to strip me of myself & my sin.

I long to be so dead to my flesh that I am completely engulfed in His spirit.

I long to be completely engrossed in my God

so immersed in Him

that His GENUINE love must come rushing out of me.

His love.

the love of my God.

it causes me to long to be more like my Maker.

it causes me to love those considered "unloveable" & "untouchable."

it causes me to fall more in love with Him.

my King.

my Bridegroom.

it causes me to see creation through His eyes

not mine.

it causes my heart to become b r o k e n

b r o k e n for the very things that break the heart of my Maker.

"Y aunque mi vida fuera derramada sobre el

sacrificio y servicio que proceden de su fe,

me alegro y comparto con todos ustedes mi alegría."

[Filipenses 2:17]

"But I will rejoice even if I lose my life,

pouring it out like a liquid offering to God..."

[Philippians 2:17]

I yearn to be so in tune with the heartbeat of my God

so much that I am willing to proclaim His name even in the midst of death.

I long for the very core of my heart to be in complete unity

with the very heart of my God.

"En cuanto a mí, jamás se me ocurra jactarme

de otra cosa sino de la cruz de nuestro Señor Jesucristo."

[Gálatas 6:14]

"As for me, may I never boast about anything

except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ."

[Galatians 6:14]