broken & exposed love.

i was

completely

s t r e t c h e d.

broken.

wrecked.

exposed.

loved.

I spent this past weekend on the beautiful beaches of Limón & Puerto Viejo. What was supposed to be a normal, everyday beach trip turned into me being completely broken & wrecked before my God.

I will never be able to fully put into words all that God spoke to me and how broken I truly became.

For 3 days I "vacationed" amongst those considered

"unloveable" & "untouchable".

For 3 days I was completely uncomfortable, but in such a beautiful way.

For 3 days I experienced love.

Love from a f a r—through what I saw around me.

& through each my God spoke.

I saw houses.

old.

torn.

wooden.

small.

leaves.

simple.

dirt.

fabric.

tin.

holes.

exposed.

ripped.

broken.

houses considered homes.

I saw people.

young.

old.

content.

dirty.

grateful.

"unloveable"

impoverished.

exposed.

tattered.

"untouchable"

bare-feet.

people who are beautiful.

I saw the ocean.

raw.

unhindered.

exposed.

free.

open.

creative.

ocean imitating love.

For 3 days I was neighbors with those considered

"unloveable" & "untouchable"

I was neighbors to houses that most would consider as shacks.

I was neighbors with love.

love at its finest.

My neighbors for those 3 days don't see dirt & wood.

or bare-feet & tattered clothing.

They see family.

life.

beauty.

contentment.

joy.

love.

But more than any of that-

they love.

Here.

in Costa Rica.

love is understood in such a pure way.

in such an unhindered way.

everyone loves with their entire heart.

not just a piece.

they fully understand how special love is.

love isn't taken for granted.

it's thoroughly appreciated.

it's fully given.

even to a complete stranger.

a stranger, just like me.

I have been called to love. I have been called to step out of [my] ways & completely step into {His}—regardless of what that may mean. I long to be so in tune with the very heartbeat of my God that I love in a way that allows my spirit to rise above my flesh. I long to love even if it means sleeping on a dirt covered street. living amongst the broken & poor. eating only grain. wearing tattered bits of clothing. being bare-foot. His love is greater than any of that. I long & yearn to love as my God loves. Allowing nothing to stand in my way from loving as He does. Just as the ocean is raw & exposed to anyone & everything I long to love with a love so raw & exposed. I long to love freely. Allowing myself to genuinely love anyone and everyone just as my God does. I long to love holding back nothing.

I long to love like the "unloveables" & "untouchables" love.

like my God loves.

I truly experienced love at its finest & not through a single word, but through what I saw. I saw the people around me love in a way that broke me. In a way that causes them to look past old wooden & dirt houses & see nothing but a home full of love. In a way that causes them to look past what they do not have & see what they can give to those around them.

through broken & tattered houses.

dirty & impoverished people.

a raw & open ocean.

my God spoke

& i became broken.

so broken that I became fully exposed before my God.

so exposed that I can't help but want to love like my God loves.

i long to love until my very last breath.

{loving until i no longer can.}